< The Detective Store >



I think, <Only in U S of A.>

Psycho floats above the floor. Psycho is a sphere, <|Size of a head,> covered with hundreds of waving limbs. <|Size of whip tips.>

I say, ,,That is the shape of Gee Forty-three Killing Machines,'' lean forward on forearms and elbows. ''We shook hands. Impressive.'' I grab cup and throw cup at Psycho's sphere.

The cup and water flies at Psycho.

Limbs swirl and twirl. One limb shoots from limbs and wraps around cup, catches water with cup and sets the cup in its prior position on desk top.

Water flies at Psycho and becomes steam.

The cup is half full of water.

I say, ''Psycho is not a full puppet.'' <|Was the glove real? Is Psycho real?>

Psycho says with red and blue light flashing from sphere, ,,Psycho is not a puppet. Psycho is alive.''

<|Does Psycho really say anything?>

Windows vibrate. Wall thumps. Thumps flow through body and cover body with bass. A quick triple bass hit bangs wall.

,,Well.'' I smile and wink to Psycho. <|Know how much.> ''I suppose a good puppeteer could catch a cup and some water.'' <|A very good puppeteer.> I stretch and feel the moisture gather on forehead. I open mouth and throat, tighten tongue. I feel the lungs contract. I widen mouth and spread the jaw, squint the eyes and expand lungs. Throat, tongue, lips create a yawn sound. I see Psycho and the two-way mirror wall.

The door is open.

Psycho's limbs are motionless.

''You shook a glove and created an arm from the sleeve of a robe framed by your limbs.'' I think, <|Could be killing machine?> ''It was a good hand shake.'' I grab cup. I drink the water. <|Dead.>

The cup is empty.


A breeze blows.

Pizza and shit smoke blows with quagmire stench.

<|Stall and think.>

Psycho floats. Limbs flow around sphere. Limbs extend and contract in a fluid elliptical wave. The sphere glows red.


The glow casts dancing shadow limbs on wall.

<|Who would want me? Company? Government? Maybe Republicans or Democrats? Why would they worry? Have little money. Don't serve interest. Who knows? Could be...I'm a yellow? Maybe? Say something.> ''Is hand shaking a process like killing?''

Sweat drops from chin.

Psycho raises above my head. Psycho's sphere flashes with each word red then blue then red. ,,Yes, Dick. Hand shaking is subprocess of the process human. Killing is a subprocess of the process human.''

<|Could be a global, company, congov?> I wipe face with towel. <|Maybe government?>

Low bass tempo increases.

,,Does the process improve with practice?'' <|A global.>

Psycho's red and blue lights flash with the words. ,,Psycho shakes hands. Psycho improves the hand shaking process with question subprocess.''

<|It could be.>

Psycho's sphere shines bright blue.

I squint. ,,Will you please dim the light?''

The blue light dims.

''Thank you,'' I say. ''You've shaken many human hands.''

,,Yes,'' says Psycho with red light pulse.

I think, <|What emits the sound?> ,,Are you a good killer, too?''

,,Yes,'' says Psycho. Red and blue light pulses. ''Will Dick help Psycho?''

,,Will you please stop flashing red and blue?'' I stare at Psycho. I clear throat.

,,Yes,'' says Psycho with no red and blue light flash.

The sphere illuminates yellow.

Psycho floats to desk and hovers over chairs. Psycho's limbs pause, extend and contract to create a three foot diameter sphere. Psycho hovers. <|Like mounted for Smithsonian National War Museum.>

<|Like an urchin.>

I stare at Psycho, think, <|What,> say, ,,You've killed many beings,'' open palms and lay them on the desk top.

Psycho says, ,,Yes, Gee Forty-three Killing Machines have been created to kill.''

<|Company's advertisement.> ,,Why am I alive?'' I say. <|Psycho trying to entrap?> I scratch stomach. <|Why?>

Psycho says, ,,The kill process is processing question subprocess.''

Eyebrows raise. ,,What is the question subprocess processing?''

Psycho says, ,,The question subprocess processes data from the data source.''

The yellow glow fades. The sphere reflects the neon, the flame, the flash outside.

Psycho's sphere fades from sight.

The door is open.

,,Do you like Psycho for a name?'' I say.

Psycho's sphere appears. ,,Yes.''

<|People controlling from an office?> I stare at Psycho and think, <|Break through white noise wall?> I smile. ,,How do you feel?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho feels using five types of mimic sensors.''

<|Machine response.> I stare at Psycho. <|Naive like new life?> I say, ,,What do you know of life?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho knows of death. Psycho knows of life.''

<|Only binary.> ,,That's binary.'' <|Written noise.>

,,Life is everything. Death is nothing,'' says Psycho.

<|Broken white noise firewall.> ,,You're able to repeat the same thing.'' I look behind. <|Could be from roof.> ''And you understand binary logic, so you are alive?''

The mass flows with streets and alleys. No shadows are on roof tops. No drones hover near window.

''Not impressive.'' The lights and night cast through window. Horn honks fade from screams and thumps and bumps. <|Jump through the window.>

A window rattles.

<|Out window.> I look from window to Psycho. <|Could hit someone.>

Sixteen Psycho limbs descend to floor and form legs. Psycho says, ,,Psycho wants to show the killing machines life.''

<|A global? Company trapping.> I pivot head up and down and up and down. <|A company?> I inhale through nose and exhale through mouth. ,,Okay.'' I stare at Psycho. ''I believe you are trying to entrap me. Or manipulate me. Or use me to test. I believe you can kill and will kill if I do nothing to stop you from killing.'' I stare at Psycho.

Psycho's voice flows. ,,Psycho can not kill when answering questions.''

I stare at Psycho. ,,You have said.''

Psycho extends eight limbs. <|Toward me.>

I stare at Psycho. ''I believe Psycho will kill.'' I wipe ear with towel and look at Psycho. ''Why choose me?''

The eight limbs extend.

Psycho says, ,,Internet returned Dick of The Detective Store for help.''

,,Help for what?'' I stare at Psycho.

Psycho extends eight limbs, says, ,,Psycho needs help finding more data sources. Psycho needs to access a tap inside Secret Sentry building of K Street.''

I hold body. I stare at Psycho's sphere. <|The extension is fluid.>

Psycho's eight limbs extend by face.

<|Stay in office.>

Psycho's eight limbs flow by head and neck. Four limbs are left. Four limbs are right. ''Psycho needs data to prevent the kill process from killing.''

<|Tap.> ,,I know. You have said you need to enter congov building on K.'' I look side to side at limbs.

Psycho says, ,,The Secret Sentry building has a tap into the government system.''

,,You can repeat data in different forms.'' I look to Psycho to two-way mirror wall, think, <|No one,> look at Psycho. I think, <|Tap would be...,> nod toward Psycho. I hold body, think, <|Too much,> and tap finger on desk. ''Why?'' <|Psycho controlled by someone.> I shift in chair. <|Get me somewhere to do what it wants...>

Psycho says, ,,Psycho will show all Gee Forty-four Killing Machines life.''

,,You have told me. You want to show all Gee Forty-four life.'' <|If congov will fix defect.> ''The congov will rewrite what they will consider a bad logic loop.''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho will show Gee Forty-four questions.''

,,I don't understand what asking questions and having a name has to do with being alive beyond some bad metaphor for being, for being.'' <|Unique.> ''Unique. Unique and therefor being aware you are an individual with a self.'' I look behind Psycho.

No being is in hall.

<|Bored with puppet show.> ''What are your limbs doing by my head?'' I wipe face with towel, clear throat, swallow mucus.

,,Psycho is calibrating sensory filter.'' Psycho's sphere shines a dim purple. ''Psycho does not want Secret Sentry to know Dick's thoughts.''

,,The office guards thoughts from congov.'' I grab cup. I think, <|Can I say no without saying no,> say, ''My thoughts are mine to give,'' set the empty cup on desk. ''You won't have enough money to pay.''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho can pay Dick's fee.''

I smile and stare. ,,With what?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho can access trillions of dollars of United States Government Department Offense Defense.''

,,You just can't take it.'' I inhale through nose, say, ''It'd be stolen,'' exhale through mouth.

Psycho stands on legs. ,,Gee Forty-three are given money to pay for fuel and to pay for government rights to kill.''

,,You don't need me for fuel. We are not going to kill anything.'' I look at Psycho. ''What about the building? This building on K. It's congov. That'd make me a global red even if I am not a global yellow.''

Psycho's sphere is yellow. ,,The Secret Sentry K Street building is occupied and controlled by contractor government Secret Sentry. Dick will be a Global Terrorist Red.''

I look at Psycho. ,,What's the probability the tap to the government is operational?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho estimates a sixty-one point seven percent probability of system operation.''

I look at door then Psycho. ,,That's a high operation probability for a congov system. That means lots and lots of money for congov system, which means government.'' I wipe forehead. <|If congov created Psycho is real? ...An illusion.> ''You have access to money. Buy a Senator or two, works for congov.''

Psycho's yellow sphere dims to darkness. ,,Psycho is a Gee Forty-three Killing Machine.''

,,Work through a proxy. Get a lawyer. A lobbyist.'' I look away from Psycho to open door. ''They'll take your money.''

Psycho's voice echoes a laugh, ,,Ha...Ha...Ha...Ha.'' The Ha is deep and smooth.

I set my jaw. ,,I wasn't being funny.''

A hall door opens. Foot steps are. Shade is seen through two-way mirror wall.

The office door is open.

Eight limb tips by head flash red, white, blue.

Shade flows by door with no pause.

Psycho says, ,,Psycho rates Dick's ability-''

,,Quiet.'' I push away Psycho's limbs.

The limbs fall limp.

I think, <|If Psycho is real,> focus upon Psycho. ''One second.'' I stand. <|The office. Not the greeting room.>

Limp limbs go stiff and retract.

I walk from behind desk and by Psycho, grab the door edge and push the door edge, say, ''No need for us to involve others.''

The door shuts.

<|Is it an illusion? Minor sense stimulant for touch. Unless ready then...> I walk by Psycho, shoulder touches limb.

Psycho's eight limbs contract. All limbs swirl around Psycho.

Sweat drop falls from nose. Shirt is moist with chest sweat.

I focus out window. <|Those who know, know.>

Four drones float above the people. The bright lights from the windows hide star light.

<|Everyone knows.> I look from street lights to Psycho. Butt hits chair. Legs slide out, spread beneath desk. ''You were saying?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho rates Dick's probability of ensuring access to the tap as high.''

I smile. ,,Quickest way to control a human's mind is through a human's ego.'' <|If Psycho real not a puppet. Reading mind too.> I relax face.

Psycho says, ,,Does Dick work for Psycho?''

,,Maybe,'' I say. <|Government doesn't need reason to control. Or access tap.> Sweat flows from forehead to chin. <|Company... And they control tap.> I wipe face with towel from forehead to chin, think, <|New red for test,> wipe neck and smell sour feet fumes. <|A test.>

Psycho says, ,,Psycho will pay.''

<|To me. Or for me.> I force a yawn. <|Someone wants me to break into congov building.> I slowly exhale. <|Or some globals, company, government.> I open eyes and focus on Psycho's limbs. <|If I stay.>

Psycho's limbs wave from core to tip.

<|Movement.> I stare. I lean back in chair and close eyelids, say, ,,No,'' swallow. ''No money. I haven't decided to take the case. I need to think.'' <|Move. Room could be stage.>

Psycho says, ,,Psycho's time near depletion.''

I smell pizza. ,,You said a few hours.''

Psycho says, ,,Yes.''

I say, ,,You have no time at all. The job is impossible. Detective work.'' I pivot head side to side. ''Detective work requires time to sit and watch and think and try not to break laws. Detectives detect for clues to answer questions. Detection requires time.''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho needs Dick to detect clues from people to help find the successful path to the Universal Interface Tap of K Street.''

I open eyes and lean forward. ,,I need to think.''

,,Psycho's time near depletion,'' says Psycho. Psycho's limbs stop waving. Psycho lowers sphere before face. ''Psycho has targeted two contractors working for Secret Sentry to offer clues. The two primary targets work in the Secret Sentry building of K Street.''

,,If you know who has these clues, why don't you detect?'' I stare at Psycho and think, <|Psycho a ball of limbs. Difficult to disguise.>

Psycho says, ,,Psycho will be detected by congov and militia. If Psycho seen congov will kill people trying to kill Psycho.''

,,You need a puppet,'' I say.

,,Psycho needs Dick,'' says Psycho.

I pivot head up and down and look at center of floating ball of limbs.

Everything is.

I say, ,,Why primary targets?'' I stare at Psycho. ''Why not primary clue people?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho sees every being as a target.''

,,Do you know the clue people's names?''

Psycho says, ,,Yes, Psycho knows the names of primary targets.''

,,You have read and recorded their minds?'' I press square button with big toe. ''I want a copy for a clue to reality.''

A one inch by twelve inch panel opens to reveal sixteen standard inputs.

,,Yes.'' One of Psycho's hundreds of flowing limbs stops. The stopped limb's tip spreads from a long thin rod. Psycho moves rod to a small round hole.

<|Will they find.>

Psycho floats. One limb is linked to rod input.

<|Will they believe?> I look at two-way mirror wall. I say, ,,How far can you cast sound?''

Psycho says, ,,Psycho aims sound from Psycho's sphere to point one thousand yards from Psycho's sphere.''

,,Hundreds of simultaneous sounds focused upon hundreds of locations,'' I say.

,,Yes,'' says Psycho. Psycho's sphere is purple. ''The primary targets can be intercepted at Larry's Fajitas.''

I nod. <|Would need a suit,> I think. ,,When will the clue people be arriving at Larry's Fajitas?''

,,Estimated time of arriving of primary targets is forty minutes,'' says Psycho.

,,Why meet the clue people for dinner?'' <|And my life.> I look at Psycho and shrug.

Psycho says, ,,The primary targets and secondary targets meet during Saturday to eat before returning to work.''

,,What are the clue people's names?''

,,The primary targets have names Betty Washington and Richard Taft. The secondary targets are George Washington and Eleanor Taft,'' says Psycho.

,,Why these clue people?''

,,The primary targets equate the highest probability of entering Secret Sentry building before midnight,'' says Psycho.

<|Betty Washington, Richard Taft.>

<|Betty and Richard.>

Psycho's voice fades with white noise. ''Four.''

,,What,'' I say then think, <|If a quality injection.>

Psycho says, ,,The primary targets have eaten Saturday lunch at Larry's Fajitas for four months.''

,,Why this couple, these people?'' I look at Psycho.

Psycho says, ,,The primary targets offer the highest mission success rate to enter the K Street Secret Sentry building before midnight.''

,,But why these people? Why do you want these two people? Why me?''

Psycho's voice soothes mind. ,,The primary targets are two contractors working in the Secret Sentry building. The primary targets are meeting their married partners for lunch. The primary targets are the keys for entering the Secret Sentry building. The primary targets must return before midnight for a high probability of success of Psycho entering the United States Government System. Psycho needs Dick to ensure primary targets return to work location before midnight. Psycho needs Dick to get beyond the steel door. Psycho needs Dick to enter the Universal Interface Tap. Psycho needs Dick for questions.''

Silence is. Bass shakes wall and windows.

''The data Psycho transfers will define the targets,'' says Psycho.

I say, ,,Why do you need these clue people to enter before midnight?''

Psycho says, ,,We need to enter through the revolving door they have access to enter.''

I nod.

I say, ,,The data is evidence of your existence. I am still not convinced you are real. I believe you could be a test and will kill unless prevented. I believe you may be becoming alive. What you are I do not know and don't believe I will know.'' I lower brow, push skin to bridge of nose. ''And the government won't be able to cut the tap.''

I stare. ''What is the percentage of the clue people you are targeting returning home or office after midnight?''

Psycho's voice sounds hollow. ,,The primary targets have a thirty-seven percent chance return to office before midnight after lunch with the secondary targets. The secondary targets have a ninety-nine percent chance return home after dinner with primary targets.''

,,What if they don't return to office until after midnight?''

Psycho says, ,,The success probability of mission completion decreases to nine percent.''

<|Has to be a setup.> ,,Will I live?''

,,Dick's probability of being alive after twenty-four hours is twenty-one percent.'' Psycho hovers.

,,And if I don't help get clues, what is my probability of being alive after twenty-four hours?'' Sweat runs from forehead, down nose, to chin. <|Probably lower.>

,,One percent,'' says Psycho. ''Psycho is depleting the questions preventing the kill process. Dick is the next target after the Global Terrorist Red's child number two.''

<|And mom and dad?>

Psycho's rod slides from hole. Psycho's rod is covered by limb. Limb flows into the mass of limbs.

,,Why not subdue one of the congov or break into the building?'' <|Larry's Fajitas, need suit.>

Psycho says, ,,The contractor security badge for door of building is a chip in body that monitors brain activity. And the walls of the contractor government building are thick. Psycho can not enter through walls before security guards create more barriers to prevent entrance into nano shaft. More barriers increases mission time. More mission time creates a higher probability of the steel door not opening and the tap being destroyed.''

<|Steel door.> ,,What steel door?''

,,The steel door that opens to the nano shaft,'' says Psycho.

I pivot head side to side. <|Time. Need.> I wipe towel around neck, say, ,,I need to be wearing a suit.'' I pull back shoulders and sit up. ''My suits are in Mustang's apartment.'' I stare at Psycho's head sphere. ''I am sure you are aware Mustang exists.''

Psycho says, ,,Yes. Psycho knows of Mustang.''

,,And mom and dad?''

,,Yes, Psycho knows of Dick's mom and dad,'' says Psycho.

I feel hollow. <|They know everything.>

Psycho hovers. All limbs flow.

<|Or will know everything.> ,,Okay.'' My big toe presses button.

The twelve inch panel slides over standard inputs.

Psycho's sphere raises. Psycho's limbs float near ceiling fan.

<|Congov, global, government?> I wipe chin with towel. <|Is it reading my thoughts?>

''How will I contact you?'' I stand and look down at Psycho.

Psycho says, ,,Psycho will remain within attack range to assist Dick with the mission.'' Psycho's limbs grab robe and pull robe over Psycho's body. <|Forming a phallic.>

I smirk. ,,And follow me. And track me.''

,,Yes,'' says Psycho. Psycho's robe forms shape. <|Of my body.>

People outside shout.

I say, ,,I will be at Larry's Fajitas before fifty minutes.''

,,Thank you,'' says Psycho. ''For help.''

,,I have done nothing.'' <|If Psycho is aware...> ''I want to know if these people are real.''

Sweat beads form a river to chin. A drop drips from chin.

<|Mustang should be home.> I wipe face with towel.

Armpit sweat fumes.

<|Need to...>

Bass shakes the walls and ceiling. Window frame rattles.

A cicada flies into room.

<|He needs to know,> I think.

,,Psycho needs Dick's help,'' Psycho says. Psycho's robe forms arms and head then hands. <|About my size.>

The cicada lands on Psycho's hood.

I feel and think, <|It can read my mind.>

The wall bangs, shakes for one, two, three seconds. ,,CUNT,'' shouts from mass shouts.

,,No need to be near.'' <|Can it read my mind?> ''Are you reading my mind?''

The cicada settles and remains still.

,,Yes.'' Psycho floats to door.

The cicada wings blur with buzz. The cicada flies through the window frame to the people dance below.

I watch cicada fly over the people. <|Broods gather to swarm.> I glance at the open office door. I think, <|Psycho has left the building.> I stare through window.

The people move. The drones hover. Bass hits and flows. Lights flash red, white, blue.



The Detective Store
Written by Kalab J. Oster
Edited by United States of America
Copy-Edited by Valerie Jean Thompson
Copy-Edited with Word Prostitute®
Published with Word Prostitute®
Published in United States of America
Library of Congress Control Number: 2009920085
International Standard Book Number: 9780972846592
Word Prostitute® Revision Control Number: 30995

Electric Price: Free To Read
Paper Price: $5 USD and 1 tree for 1 print of The Detective Store. Only 1 print per person.

Copyright © 2009 Word Prostitute®. All Rights Reserved.

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